


ever since i can remember

by raayachez



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/M, Gen, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mostly Gen, POV Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Can Talk to Birds, Sam Wilson-centric, male-male friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 00:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raayachez/pseuds/raayachez
Summary: He didn’t tell anyone about it, anyways. No one would have believed him, if he started claiming that he understood what birds were saying. Christ, when he said it like that, he wasn’t sure if he would’ve even believedhimself.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Riley & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Kudos: 17





	ever since i can remember

Sam has no idea when it started. Maybe it was just always a part of him. Maybe. Or maybe it was a secret part of their family, or even a-

Yeah, no. He stopped the thought there.

Though, he’d have to admit, it wasn’t exactly useful. It wasn’t even cool. He means, he didn’t _want_ to be considered a mutant if his only ability was chatting with birds, but… it is what it is.

He didn’t tell anyone about it, anyways. No one would have believed him, if he started claiming that he understood what birds were saying. Christ, when he said it like that, he wasn’t sure if he would’ve even believed _himself_.

* * *

The thing was, when he talked about Riley, people would always assume it was romantic. Like they were some tragic love story that had never took off, because there were too many things stacked against them. (DADT, he can think of, immediately. Sam’s sure that there are others things. There had to be.) But it wasn’t- it never was. Maybe in some other universe, sure. But _this_ universe wasn’t that one.

They were ‘just’ friends. Emphasis on the just.

Yet. Sam didn’t think that was enough to explain their relationship.

Riley was some sorta serial dater. He was, and always has been, ever since Sam had met him. But he knew what he wanted and a relationship - the romantic kind, anyways - wasn’t on that list. He wasn’t a douchebag about it, not like one of those stereotypical white frat boys who competed over who had the highest body count; Riley just wasn’t interested in it. Though, admittedly, he looked like one of those stereotypical white frat boys. And that was okay. Or at least, Riley came to terms with it by some point of their friendship.

 _Sammy_ , he would sing in a high-pitched voice, _why’d I need to get a girl when I have you? Your ma’s oatmeal chocolate chip cookies? Ain’t no way someone else can make them better._ Sam would roll his eyes, and then Riley would continue: _’Sides, you’d get lonely in that shithole apartment of yours, if I never came by._

Sam’s shithole apartment became _their_ shithole apartment, a couple of weeks after their first tour. It was a decent place, for D.C., anyways.

D.C. was always so goddamn expensive.

Then, they go back.

He didn’t even know how many rescue missions they completed - it had to be tens, dozens, maybe even hundreds. Everything was fine. It had to be, when Riley had his six.

They went and found Khalid Khandil.

They forgot what it meant to be afraid. But everyday, once he left the Air Force for good, Sam wished he didn’t have to rediscover the feeling, the way he did.

It wasn’t even a special mission, not like Khandil… but he didn’t move, he _couldn’t_ move. He just fucking watched his best friend get shot down from the sky by a RPG, and he couldn’t fucking _move_.

Everything quickly goes to shit, after that.

Sam flew down, with a sense of efficiency he usually reserved for the more serious aspects of their missions, but Riley was nothing if not important. Though, Sam knew that Riley couldn’t have survived the collision - nevertheless, the fall - he manipulated the EXO suit like a man possessed.

God. Riley didn’t have a pulse.

Sam didn’t feel anything besides a chilling numbness, that crawled up his spine and left him disoriented. He managed to report what had occurred to a senior officer, almost mindlessly, and they tell him to stay where he is.

He ends up not moving for hours.

And looking up at the sky, he wished to see something other than the piercing glare of the sun: to avoid the backdrop of the heavenly blue and corrosive sand that surrounded him. Instead, he was entreated to a conversation between a pair of bearded vultures, as they swooped closer to the ground.

They were talking about Riley’s _body_ , about his… _corpse_ and-

He wished he couldn’t hear them, as he knelt on the sand and watched his friend sit lifelessly, a few feet away from him. Riley was _dead_.

Sam didn’t know how long it took for someone else to come.

Later, Fernier tells him it was four hours and thirty-seven minutes, exactly, before the another pilot were able to find them. For some reason, it felt a whole lot longer. Almost endless.

**Author's Note:**

> samsharonbucky supremacy actually. y'all better stream tfatws when it comes out <3
> 
> if u wanna ever talk hmu thru: [ig!](https://www.instagram.com/lovely.raaya/), [twt!](https://twitter.com/raayachez), [tumblr!](https://rchez.tumblr.com/)


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